Top 5 Things that Paul Cavanaugh Wanted to Write About

Top 5 Things that Paul Cavanaugh Wanted to Write About
Monday, December 03, 2012

Typically, at the end of the year I put together a top 10 list of items that went on in the motorcycle drag racing community. Not this year.

The main reason is because I really did not follow the drag racing scene as closely as I usually do. The first half of the year I was recovering from trying to see how far I could throw a motorcycle through the air. (Approximately 6 feet up and 30 feet out for those who are interested.) Other reasons had to do with trying to increase the bike count at our local track, which takes a hell of a lot more time than you would think and working with the NHRA.

So I thought I would do something different.

In the course of writing articles for Dragbike.com, the 8 of you who read them have probably noticed at some point in the article I have something completely irrelevant to drag racing. I write these ideas down whenever they come up and then I grab one of them to put in an article when it seems to fit.

The following are a few that I could never find a place for in an article and were left out.

The 2012 election

I pretty much try to stay out of politics, I call myself a Republicrat. Whatever side seems to help me out the most I will vote for. Furthermore, I have found no one side has all the answers, as a matter of fact the farther you get out to the right or left, the less answers there seems to be. Kind of like a race track, the farther you get out to the right or the left the better chance you have of bad things happening, like hitting a wall.

Lately the elections for president have been the equivalent of getting Harleys and Sportbikes to run in the same race series. I was so discouraged in the 2008 election I wrote my own name on the line for President. A friend told me that was a non-vote. I told him that was not true, now I could freely complain about whoever was president and tell everyone it was not my fault. More than likely I will vote for myself in this election too.

Sidenote: I did vote for me.

Photo… You make the story

I have wanted to use this photo in a story but never was able to. Stephanie and I saw it on the way home from Jimmy “Cha Cha” Heisler’s 4th of July party.

The 1st Presidential Debate

I have this strange thing that goes on in my brain whenever I listen to conversations. One part of my brain hears the conversation for what it is and the other part translates it in to what it thinks an alternate conversation could be like. For instance, when you are talking to a female on the phone and she tells you, “I have to work out because I am gaining lots of weight.” I translate that into, “I have to work out because I have gained a half pound that no one will see but I am obsessive compulsive.”

So here is what I heard during the first Presidential Debate when they were discussing their tax strategies:

PRESIDENT OBAMA: “And this is where there’s a difference because Governor Romney’s central economic plan calls for a $5 trillion tax cut, on top of the extension of the Bush tax cuts, so that’s another $2 trillion, and $2 trillion in additional military spending that the military hasn’t asked for. That’s $8 trillion.”

TRANSLATION: “Governor Romney is going to build a GEN II Hayabusa and race it in the 2013 Pro Street Class by using an oversize turbo, he thinks he is going to be able to get the rules changed so only he can use it and everyone else is going to go along with it just because he’ll make the reason for the rule change sound good.”

MR. ROMNEY: “Well, sure. I’d like to clear up the record and go through it piece by piece. First of all, I don’t have a $5 trillion tax cut. I don’t have a tax cut of a scale that you’re talking about. My view is that we ought to provide tax relief to people in the middle class.”

TRANSLATION: “That is not true. First of all I do not have a Hayabusa I have a ZX-14R. I don’t have a turbo either like you mentioned, nor will I use NOS. And I do not need to have a rule change, I can work with the rules we have.

MR. LEHERER: “Mr. President, your response”

TRANSLATION: “Mr. President, In your face!”

PRESIDENT OBAMA: “Well, I think -- let’s talk about taxes because I think it’s instructive… Now, Governor Romney’s proposal that he has been promoting for 18 months calls for a $5 trillion tax cut on top of $2 trillion of additional spending for our military. And he is saying that he is going to pay for it by closing loopholes and deductions. The problem is that he’s been asked a -- over a hundred times how you would close those deductions and loopholes and he hasn’t been able to identify them.”

TRANSLATION: “So why don’t you instruct us to as what you plan on doing if you are not going to run a turbo or NOS. For 18 months people have been talking about your build and been asking how you are going to do it over and over again. How do you plan on being competitive?”

MR. ROMNEY: “So -- so if -- if the tax plan he described were a tax plan I was asked to support, I’d say absolutely not. I’m not looking for a $5 trillion tax cut. What I’ve said is I won’t put in place a tax cut that adds to the deficit. That’s part one. So there’s no economist can say Mitt Romney’s tax plan adds 5 trillion (dollars) if I say I will not add to the deficit with my tax plan. Number two, I will not reduce the share paid by high-income individuals. I -- I know that you and your running mate keep saying that, and I know it’s a popular things to say with a lot of people, but it’s just not the case.”

TRANSLATION: “Number one, OK I give up, I’ll tell you what my team and I are building. We are going to build a 2700cc all motor ZX-14R with a Hayes Convertible Clutch set up in slider mode. Number two, We calculate it will have over 900 hp and we can get all of it to the ground without spinning the tires. Are you satisfied now?”

MR. LEHERER: “Mr. President?”

TRANSLATION: “Back at you.”

PRESIDENT OBAMA: “Well, for 18 months he’s been running on this tax plan. And now, five weeks before the election, he’s saying that his big, bold idea is “never mind.” And the fact is that if you are lowering the rates the way you describe, Governor, then it is not possible to come up with enough deductions and loopholes that only affect high-income individuals to avoid either raising the deficit or burdening the middle class. It’s -- it’s math. It’s arithmetic.”

TRANSLATION: “Are you stupid or what? It is not mathematically possible to build an engine like that.”

Fender Bender

Friday night on the way to Atlanta Dragway for TNT I ran into the back of an octogenarian driving an 84 Ford pick-up with a sufficient amount of force to knock him into the guy who stopped to take a left turn in front of him.

It is interesting to note the things that go through your head as you know you are inevitably going to crash. “Oh shit this sucks, come on wheels stop skidding, let off the brakes and pump, nope that did not work. Oh shit, I am skidding again. Maybe I can turn into oncoming traffic and miss him. What are you stupid or something?! Bad idea. How about the ditch? Forget that. Please guy look in your rear view mirror and move forward. Oh crap, this is going to leave a mark. He sees me! Damn, look how big his eyes got. He is moving. Yeah! I am going to miss him! WHAM! SHIT!” Luckily everyone was alright with the exception of the rear end of the guy’s pick-up.

On the MARTA

My brother and I were coming back from the Atlanta Falcons vs. Oakland Raiders game on Atlanta’s metro rail system. Apparently, that weekend was also the weekend for the Atlanta Gay Pride Festival so to say the least the train was packed with an unusual assortment of football fans and people wearing rainbow colors.

Standing next me were two girls in their mid to lower twenties if I were to guess, each of them had used markers to write on their arms the words, “FREE HUGS”. Me, being the curious person that I am, tapped the one nearest to me on the shoulder and said, “Excuse me.”

“Yes” she replied.

I pointed at her arm and asked, “Who is HUGS and why is he in prison?”